How I get ready to go out

August 1, 2017

I take FOREVER to do anything never mind trying to get ready for a night out. I don't really have a routine, but I start preparing long before. If i know I'm going to go out on a Saturday, I start planning my outfit on Tuesday. I then ask everyone in the party what they are going to wear just to make sure I don't look overdressed or like a bum. Depending on their replies, I sometimes have to start from scratch. I am so annoying. 

Here is a list of things i do to get my self ready:

 

1. I lay out like 6 outfits and stare at them for a while, imaging myself strolling in like a queen.

 

2. I also imagine how I would look if it was a horrible outfit choice.

 3. After self soothing my emotions with some tequila, I continue on my search of the perfect outfit. I rip my closet apart and find a shit ton of clothes that still have tags on or the dress I've been looking for for a year now and I don't even want it anymore.

 

4. Alas, I have found the outfit. I make sure to ask both my sisters "does this look cute?" "but wait, how cute?" "I think you're lying, you're totally making a face. Great now I have to start over". As I said, I'm wicked annoying.

 

5. Doing my hair is the most time consuming thing ever. I always complain that my hair is too long and I'm going to chop it off when it isn't cooperating. But when it comes out the way I want it I'm like "I'm a fucking mermaid and I'm going to live forever".

 

 

6. I'm always sure to have like 7 extra outfits on deck just in case my friends decide to change their minds and wear ballgowns or something. So I throw my suitcase in the trunk and make my way over.

 

7. Going back inside my place 4 times after I've already locked the door because I keep forgetting shit.

 

8. Nothing is worse than when you mess up your eyeliner and you have to fix it like 6 times and you're pissed off and your arms hurt and you're just like fuck it, my eyes will be nude. WHATEVER.

 

9. Go in my suitcase and pull out the 8 pairs of shoes i brought and model them with my #1 outfit and walk around to make sure i can actually walk. I pretend to dance in front of the mirror in said shoes to see how ridiculous or hot I look.

 

 

10. Then it's time for accessories. Which necklace? Do I even need a necklace? How many Alex and Ani bangles can I fit on one wrist? Which bag do I want to wear? Can it fit everything i need? 

11. At some point, I need a power nap because it's exhausting being perfect all the time. 

 

12. I then check the bag I've chosen like 14 times to make sure I have everything. My ID, money, my phone, a picture of my dog, pepper spray, some crackers in case I get hungry, 4 lipglosses that I never even put on.

 

 

Girls take long to get ready because we have so much shit to do. We can't just throw on any old outfit, arrive unprepared, and wing it. Well, at least I can't.

 

 

 

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