I'm such an awkward human. Some days all I want is attention and cuddles, but then other days I want to stay buried in my blanket fort and hide from the world.

On my needy days, it's not always attention that I crave. Yes, someone playing with my hair and telling me I'm pretty is always a plus, but I also need a half gallon of Reese's peanut butter cup ice cream, a party-size pizza, 675,489 dollars in cash without having to work for it, a deep-tissue massage, and a 12 hour nap. If I can't have those requests satisfied, then I'll happily settle for snuggles and a super sophisticated and classy box of wine.

When I'm not needy, leave me the hell alone. Do not touch me. Do not talk to me. Don't try to get me to do anything or I'll punch you in the kidney. Just basically back off.

And every day is a new day so I might be needy today and not tomorrow. Who knows; I'm gunna keep you on your toes.

#needy #attention

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